Keep It Right There

The Barroso Christmas party was illlll as usual. And thanks to technology and skype, Lola, who's in vacation in the Philippines for a couple months got to skype with us throughout the entire party. She sat there, right there, in the Philippines, right there, with us in the living room as every cousin and kid opened their present. Right there, as all of us popped in the room, right there, singing christmas carols and even played the exchange gift game. My family, and my cousins were close. This year, we're even closer. Barroso Family, keep it, right there. - God is Love

OH, and James on Skype before Lola from Toronto. Miss ya cuz, do your thing in Paris, see you soon bruh!

Time Capsoul

A message from my 16 year old self: So we fix our eyes on what is seen, but on what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary, and what is unseen is eternal". 2 corinthians 4:18. this world is not my home. im a 'foreigner' here on earth. cause at death i wont be leaving home, ill be going to it.- increase the peace....
I get mad, like any other person would. I get real bummed out. Like any other person would. We all go through rough spots in our lives. Naturally, we get high-spirited when everything is going great. We thank God for how awesome our life is going, go out to eat instead of cookin' in, buy something we don't even really need, like a keychain or a lamp that's shaped like a medieval helmet. I don't know. ha. But when our lives come down a little bit, naturally, we sulk in it. Stress in our stresses. And don't feel that God's not on our side today. And we look up in the sky and say "what the ?uck?".. But please,  Don't forget that there is a purpose for everything, even the bad things. Cause sometimes we need to be exhausted, and to subject to utter frustration until we realize he's the only thing that can save us. And He will wait until the right moment for his grace to be revealed.
Cause my dude is thorough.. His plans for you are lengthy, but well conceived. His artistry is slow, but his colours are rich. Those rough spots we enter are just a fraction of our lives if we patiently wait for his cue.. and celebrate the fullness of time. My dude will come through. - God is Love

Day by (birth)Day

It's crazy to think about how long we've been together, without really being together. I told you in my first gift I gave you, nearing 2 years ago, that I wanted to be your best friend before anything else. Well, we got that covered. So I guess all there is to do is keep lovin'.. and what happens when you love?.. It gives you wings.. Happy Birthday. - God is Love 

"Donny"

Vic, Me, Jobair. The best homies, the illest co-worker. 

"Donnel.. is it cool if I call you 'Donny'?"

I remember that September when I moved to Burnaby from East Van, it was my first recess in the 4th grade and this dude asks me that question up there. I don't even remember saying if it was cool or not but I just ran with it. In the schoolyard, they called me "Donny". And it carried onto high school. I guess it just caught on when my dudes from elementary would call me Donny during class. And my teachers all had their little variations from Donny Brasco, Donny Darko, Donzer, Donzilla, Doneezy(Yeah, P.E. teacher came up with that one) etc. etc. It's been, I don't know, 4 years since the 12th grade.

Fast forward to now.. I walk into work, bed-headed and groggy. Put on my XL blue shirt and get on the floor. 

"Yo, Donny, can you check how much that jacket at the top is?" 

hah.. I guess God's brought me full circle. And brought me back to the place that I've missed the most. - God is Love

PDA

I'm not really into public displays of affection, but, I'm in love with You - ...  

I Fight the War

Y'know, sometimes I think I got it locked down and that I'd never forget what I learned. Then it comes and hits me from a different angle and then here I am writing the same blog I wrote 5 years ago. But 5 years ago I probably would've metaphorically compared this to homework or high school. Now I'm writing about love and patience and struggle and love. I hate it when people say they don't want to grow up and how they hate it. Though growing into a new skin and learning things in a completely new way, is probably one of the greatest things this life can offer. Beauty of age. Hash-tag that muthasuckas. Anyways, quick message: 

They always say to "pick your battles". I guess "they're" right. I guess what they meant to say was, to make your sacrifices. You gotta lose some, to win some. You gotta lose some, to win it all. We can't win every battle and most of the time it's not worth it. It's okay to fight for the little things. We might win some. but don't always fight for what's right now. Fight for what's right. Fight the War. Fight for, forever. - God is Love

If I was Superman

 "We're not Superheroes, but we're pretty ?uckin' close" - Nonducor

If I was superman, I'd be able to finish my daily schedule in less time than it requires. I'd be able to perform my tasks with perfection. I'd be able to juggle 4 different projects at the same time and have a day time job. I could do a lot of things if I was superman. But if I was Superman, I think I'd be too busy being a superhero and saving the world. Not that I have anything against saving the world. But if I had the chance to be Superman, I'd give it to the next guy. "Cause there's no other nigguh than I'd rather be than me".  During interviews, people always ask celebrities if they'd ever trade their life for a "normal" one. Most, if not all, say no. Cause why would they trade a life that they love? Even if it's for x-ray vision, flying, and tights. - God is Love 

?uestlife

What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to do for the rest of your life? Who are you? What is love? What is life? What do you believe in? Who do you believe in? etc. etc. etc. 

I find the most difficult questions for the most of us, are the easiest for me to answer. There's never any second guessing, just diligent prayer & deliberate practise. Living. - God is Love

Be a Man about it

I wish I could still play at this court, damn snow.

My father and I have different views on what it is to be a man. My father tells me, to be a man is to get an education, attain a stable job, marry a woman, produce lovely children, support them, and consistently do that last one. That without a doubt is what it is to be a man and mature into a man. But, being in a new era, I feel there is another way. 

My transition from a boy to a man is simply this, Create More, Consume Less. 

Boys try to find themselves in what they buy; men find themselves in what they do. Boys base their identity on what they consume; men base their identity on what they create.

Growing up doesn't always mean putting yourself in a business suit. Being a man doesn't mean just looking the part. Not just, being the part. But working for it. It means taking an active role in the world. Making an impact, in your community, your relationships, your family. Creating landscapes. Inspiring ambitions. Being of service to others, not only for yourself.


 I think I'm kinda far off still from the whole creating a family and children. So, for now I think I'll stick to creating an experience for other people, through my art, through this blog, through my writing, creating my character everyday. Creating your world, instead of consuming it. Living for you, through me. There is more to life than ourselves. Be a Man about it. - God is Love

Oh, Snap

Click on pictures for full image

Last Sunday I did an editorial style shoot for Daynah's school project. These weren't the ones she chose, I don't think. She texted me this morning saying that her teacher loved the photo's and said her photographer was stellar. Despite this stupid weather, I'm still joyful for these photo's. I  underestimate, and don't think much of myself when it comes to photography. This was actually my first time working shooting in this type of scenario, and I want to thank Daynah for asking me to do this. Thanks. - God is Love

Never put a woman in a box. She can be whomever she wants. It's a duty of a man to encourage her ambitions. That's it. That's it. - God is Love

Pets, Socks, Rice and Haircuts

I love Pets, Socks, Rice & Haircuts. 

I love my dog and rice cookers. I wear socks and give myself haircuts. 

I like pets. I used to be deathly afraid of dogs. I used to live next to a dude who owned two pitbulls and a rottweiler. But now I'm a dog owner. I love pets because they're not phony. They're not full of crap, nor are they apologetic, pathetic pussies. If they have a beard, funky hair, no tail, bushy tail or bad breathe, they work it. Sometimes they feel nervous, excited, and maybe a bit embarrassed and it's usually solved by a wet stain on your carpet or a smell plastic bag. It's funny that we can love our pets so much and hold so much emotion for them but they don't feel anything for us. But we make ourselves think that our pets are our best friends and if we were trapped in a burning building, our 8 pound shitzhu is gonna be the first one to try and pull us out. pft. But, I'd like to think my 8 pound shitzhu would do that for me. I love pets. 

Socks are my undying clothing obsession. I think I have too many socks. I like solid, odd coloured, bright socks. It's like, your indoor shoe. Some might ask me, Why do you care for such a clothing item that is rarely even seen when you wear them? Well, you might not ever see my socks because I wear pants 365 days a year but wearing nice socks gives me that feeling of comfortability. Much like God, and the wind. You never really see them, but you can feel them. Today I'm wearing dark green socks. 

I'm asian. I'm filipino. What else can I say about rice? I like rice. It goes good with every dish my mother makes. I used to eat rice, and ketchup. That's it. Rice, the foundation of my life, my culture, my home. 

I ran into my friend Lou on the skytrain and the first thing he said was "I hate the feeling of freshly cut hair". Cutting my own hair is a chore I'd love to do everyday if it didn't result in my having no hair at all by the end of it. I've been cutting my own hair for the past 2 years and I couldn't be more happier. I apologize to Barbara(my hairdresser). One day, I will get a proper haircut. Good hair always impresses me. As much as I like hair, I envy those baldheaded dudes who don't have to worry 'bout any of that. Like, Michael Jordan. 'nough said. - God is Love

(inspired by Andrea Rosen, thank you for reminding me to write, because I love writing, and love writing about, stuff) 

Sample

I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit I never quit *scratch

Excuses and promises sound like broken records. But so does ambition. So does patience. So does, hard earned, over easy, love. Some of us don't quit. We fall, and get back up. Fall and get back up. Get back up, and fly. I never knew there were rules to how we're suppose to live. I don't think there are rules to how many times I can say "I love you" in one minute.

We over, think. Because we're conscious of the worlds rules. Conscious by popular belief. But there's no harm to "dust yourself off and try again,  You can dust yourself off and try again, try again". Just for exSample. - God is Love

At 2am

I have trouble sleeping. So does Lou. Here's our cover of "Trouble Sleeping" by Corinne Bailey Rae. 

Don't forget to VOTE FOR LOU PAPA for Breakout Star of the Year! - God is Love

I bet everyone thinks they're deep. Yeah. Yeah, that's it man. - God is Love

Left me, typeless.

Anonymous said...

donnel, this is the first time reading ur blogs and i've gone through from ur newest to old. just had to stop for a sec to say that ur amazing. and i mean it! i loved everything i've read so far. ur so real and so deep. and wow this comment is so corny! haha but for real, i love what ur doing. keep it up, i'll be reading :)

Last night, I found this. I guess it doesn't matter who wrote it. But whoever did. I just want to say, Thank you.. xInfinity. I think all of us consume so much in this world and hardly give anything back. With all this "reposted", TUMBLR, "liked", "reblogged" bullshit going around, I'm proud to say that whatever comes out from here, is straight from me. And it's just a small contribution for the world. I can only hope, someone can read my blog and not only consume, but let it pass through them. 

They said "I love what ur doing". I said, What am I doing? Oh yeah, that's right. I'm doing me. - God is Love

I Think I Know

“Ya think?” My least favorite sarcastic phrase. What is so wrong about uncertainty. I think it’s okay to just, think, so. Some people say that there are no in betweens. It’s either you do, or you don’t. Yes or a no. In or out. Up or down etc. Are we all afraid to wonder? Are we all insecure to appear, uncertain? Is that why we don’t raise our hand when we have an answer to a question we, kinda, know? What I do know, is that we all didn’t come out of our mothers vagine knowing how to ride bikes and fly like a G6. What I think, is that uncertainty is the greatest handicap (if I could call it that) we can have in our lives. Because if we knew everything, what is there left to do? All there is to do, when we don’t know is to seek, to know. To ask, to know. To think, to know. To pray, to know. Or wait, to be surprised at what we find out. Atleast I know that. I think. - God is Love

Infinite Playlist

"Mine and Hers"..(for now)

Still Got It - Drake

Shut It Down - Drake 

What's My Name - Rihanna ft. Drake 

Deuces - Chris Brown 

No Bullshit - Chris Brown

In The Cut - Wiz Khalifa 

Ambitious Girl - Wale

Aston Martin Music - Rick Ross

Oo - Up Dharma Down

John Wayne Gacy Jr. - Sufjan Stevens 

Ragged Wood - Fleet Foxes 

Feelin' Myself - Nipsey Hu$$le 

I think it's amazing how much music plays a big part in all of our lives. How a mixture of songs can give us a mixture of feelings and memories. How a line from a song can sum up our entire life. I guess that's why married couples have a "song". A song that describes how they met, how they fell in love, how they fought and how they're going to spend the rest of their lives together. I guess that's why we have a "song". With lyrics that make you feel like they're written for you. Lyrics that make you feel like you should have written them. And then there's music that takes us to places we've never been. To places that don't even exist. If you could sum up your life from your earliest memory to present day in songs.. what's would be your infinite playlist? 

Donnel's Infinite Playlist: 

Father Me - Graham Kendrick

Drive Myself Crazy - N'Sync

Bonita Applebaum - A Tribe Called Quest

The Light(remix) - Common ft. Erykah Badu 

H to the Izzo - Jay - Z 

Just A Friend - Mario

Room For Squares(album) - John Mayer

Hot Thing - Talib Kweli 

Selfish - Slum Village 

All Falls Down - Kanye West 

What's Golden - Jurrasic 5

Baby Phat - De la Soul 

Make You Feel That Way - Blackalicious 

Heavens Lost Without You - Dwele 

Come Close(Remix) - Common ft. Pharrell, Q-tip, Erykah Badu 

Caught Fire - The Used 

Red Letter Day - The Get Up Kids 

Middle of Nowhere - Hot Hot Heat 

Da Rockwilder - Meth and Red 

You Don't Know My Name - Alicia Keys 

Flake - Jack Johnson 

Weekend Love - Dwele 

Never Been In Love - Talib Kweli

Inside Out - United Hillsongs 

Throw Some D's (remix) - Rich Boy ft. Andre 3000, Jim Jones, Nelly, The Game 

Light it Up - Choclair 

Northern Touch - Choclair, Rascalz, Kardinall Offishall, Thrust 

Just Gotta Make It - Trey Songz

BE(album) - Common 

Set Phasers to Stun - Taking Back Sunday 

Keep Ya Head Up - Tupac Shakur 

Soulstar(Album) - Musiq Soulchild 

EVERYTHING & ANYTHING BY AND FEATURING THE MIGHTY ROOTS CREW 

I think I'ma end there.. this list of songs doesn't even go past the 10th grade. 

Octobers Own

October from Donnel Barroso on Vimeo.

From turning 20 to 21, has been one of the greatest years of birth to date. All thanks to, a lot of things. God is Love. God is Love. God is Love. Gotta be KD. - god is love

Frost, Robert

"I was never good at MATH or SCIENCE and all of that stuff. I wasn't even good at Social Studies. I didn't even try at Art. I didn't even take art, or photography in school. I went into Health Care. I like it, I love it. I know a job, is a job and I shouldn't feel bad but I do. I do feel bad when I get a job over women and men who need the job to support a family. To survive in this country. And they're probably praying their hearts out every night hoping they get this job and some kid like me gets it and I spend that money, that would feed two children, pay rent, save a life... on a pair of Jordans, a 35 dollar plain black toque.. This is why I chose you. I chose you. I chose the minimum wage when over above average because I'd like to deserve something. I'd like to not be yelled at for not knowing what hard work is and just do it. Do what? Work hard. I'd like to go the long way because I can. Because I'm young. I took the road more travelled by. Because my parents parents parents, and my parents parents and my parents are all wondering, after they're done, being here, Who, will, take, over." - Donnel Barroso from NONDUCOR YEARBOOK 2010: We Made it

David

The prophets came to their house and Jesse brought out all his biggest and strongest sons. Left David to tend the sheep. With every son, the prophets said "No, God says this isn't the king". They asked Jesse, "do you not have any more sons?". Jesse said, Yeah, I do. But it's just David. He couldn't be a king, he's small and is not fit to be a king. He's a great shepherd but a king? No way. (obviously I just paraphrased this whole thing, but the story is correct) 

"So, what are the rules?" 

"The only rule is, that there is no rules" 

How many times have we heard that in a movie or television show? With this story of David and that quote, go hand in hand. David's dad thought that he wasn't good enough to be a king. He didn't look like a king, he's not strong enough, or big enough to be king. So he ruled him out of the race. And as the story tells, David is the King. And ends up being one of the greatest kings at that.

Sometimes we rule each other out of things, because we don't think we "fits". Sometimes, we rule ourselves out because we don't think we "can". But the thing is, if the shoe doesn't fit, try on another size. I would have never thought in a million years I'd be where I am today, doing what I do. In pursuing your dream in our lives, we can never rule ourselves out. We may not be the best, or the most qualified but it doesn't mean you can't live your dream. They say our lives are what we make of it, right? So, what're you waiting for? - God is Love

- God is Love

I try to stay thankful

Of course, there are many more things I'm thankful for this year and this thanksgiving. But blog spot isn't going to allow me to put a picture up of everything and all your smilin' faces. Most of all I want to thank God for blessing me in this life with great people, and the greatest parents. Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy your turkeys. I'm finna grab seconds on this stuffing. Have a great weekend. Give thanks. - God is Love

May, be.

Maybe we could sleep in, and I could cook breakfast. Maybe we could sneak around in the night. Maybe we sit under the hanger and make plans to swim across the river we look over. Maybe we could watch a movie, maybe we could watch two. Maybe I could take you on a plane with me to a place that we both don't know. To a place we both want to be. Maybe, we could run away.

What I've learned for certain, is that not everything is for certain. And a maybe, is really just what may, be. I've learned to trust that. A maybe is better than a yes, better than a no. Because a yes and a no let's you see the end of the road. But you never see what makes it. You may not see  when the dirt road turns into concrete, or when the inner street turns into a highway. So I'll take a maybe, so He may, will what may, be. 

So maybe, we'll sleep in. Or maybe, we'll F.I.L.A.. - God is Love

Remember, to show your work

sweep vancouver - test footage from Nonducor on Vimeo.

testing testing, 1, 2, 3. - God is Love 

On My Break: Flat Soda

I hear on the radio and read about random things we do in life that pertain to what kind of person we are. I don't really believe in those kind of things, but I do have reasons why I do certain things because of my personality. I like flat soda. I don't drink soda often but when I do, I like it flat. I like cold pizza. I guess mainly with food, I'll eat anything as long as it's not expired or has something growing from it. I think as a person I learned not to care about what state a piece of food is, or a person is. As long as they're still there. With people, I don't mind if you don't like anything I like, or that if you're a friend that comes and goes, or one that, went. It's not going to change they way I see you. It doesn't change my consideration of you or someone elses status in my life.. you come out, the same way you came in. The doors always open. - God is love

'til the lights go out

I never knew how physical discipline could contribute to my mental, and emotional well being. I'm most definitely not going to be getting any gym membership or protein powder. But without P.E., without dance, what I got is, 1 hour, a leather sphere, a caged square.. and a lot of peace. 12 is when the lights go out. - God is love & basketball

Witness

There comes a point in your life where you do have to become conscious of the world. When you're one of those people that don't give a ?uck about a lot. We can go through life, not caring at all what people think. We can't go through life not wondering what they do think. We have points in our lives where we will ourselves to make changes. There are things in our past that we didn't have patience to grow into. There are times when we think all our decisions are correct. When we feel we have total control. We shouldn't have full control of our lives. No one man should have all that Power. Yeah, I was an asshole and I was loud and obnoxious and gave out my time to people that I wanted to matter in my life and gave less attention to the ones that I should have. I used to pray selfishly and always ask God for a way out. Because I knew what was lessening in me was hurting him. And what I was praying for shouldn't even be considered as a prayer, God, stop hurting yourself by hurting me. And that was my cry for a while. I was ignorant.  

So I took a good year off for myself. I didn't work. I didn't drive nowhere. I listened more than I spoke. I stopped showing up. I got a new phone, that only 5 people knew. I worked in my church. I worked at home. Really thought about the changes I needed to make and the representation of my life. I wanted to be a witness to other people. People that I've done wrong. People that have been there. New people that I meet. I'm not going to make every person change what they think of who I am, but my present day living is a testimony to how my changes were made. I'm not going to touch every person out there and everyone that I come into contact with, but I hope my actions and my words plant that seed. 

I still don't care for what people think of me. And the things I do. I can't change that. But I can change how the message comes out. And the message. How I write my blogs. And take advantage of the positions I'm in to make the world I'm in more positive. I haven't gone through a lot. I hope none of us ever have to go through, addictions, prison, STD's.. etc. Don't let yourself fool yourself that in order for things to be true, it has to happen to you. We're all witnesses in each others lives, it's the truth, and it doesn't matter what we think of it. 

I thrive off of wanting to be honest, in everything that I do. I'm a quieter person now, and I hope people can pick up on my non verbal cues. I might do things that may seem off, or offensive, It doesn't mean that I'm wrong but I think there are times when things have to be done at a certain time for people to accept it properly. You gotta come with a lot of patience. The key to changing perception, is changing it for real. - God is Love

Popular Belief

I think I've misplaced my creative writing parts of my brain somewhere, but here's what I found. 

Roll a spliff to the ones that "Do what they love.. ?uck everything else" - Dwayne from Little Miss Sunshine. Little Miss Sunshine is one of the only movies I own on dvd. I caught it on television earlier this evening. For the past year, I've been really big on individuality and expression. From the past years I've learned how quick people come to conclusions. Formulate judgements. Put 2 and 18 together to make up a truth that's a lie. But. truth is, none of that matters. Because people are going to do, what they do. When they want to, and who they want to do it with. (Yeah yeah, that's what she said). That was the people on the outside looking in. 

Here's one for the people on the Inside, looking, in. Thank you. What're you doing? What are you doing? Oh yeah, that's right, you're doing you. - God is Love

I guess it's all about progression

- God is Love

Oh, Maker

When I was alone I was very good at ignoring my convictions. My father told me my senselessness would leave me cents less. Everyone around me felt so pretentious. And that loneliness is what turned me against them. I ask God, "Why WHY have you sent them?!". Exhale and ask God "Please, Bless them". My troubles, I thought they were best kept, in the hearts of people who reject them. Murder murder, facebook friend requests, ignore and reject. Done from A-Z who the fuck is next? Twitter Tweetin who reads the text. @yourelazy @lyricsfromasong @subliminalmessagetotheboywhothrewawaymyheart. 

Do you know do you know what a life is? Do you know do you know more than 2 white kids? Do you know do you know what plight is? Pass me the rock..pass me the ball, ya'll think it's a game, ya'll can have it all. I would never wish another brother the top of the world cause all you get is money, cars, good weed and girls. 1 good party and your whole life is brighter, 1 good club night your whole click invited, but happens when you become a 1 nighter? Oh Maker can you lead me to the pearls of this world.. help me make her a pearl in my world rather than putting pearls on this girl. Oh Maker I hear your voice loud, and even in this drunk crowd like... "you fancy huh.. you fancy huh.. you fancy huh...you're dancin' huh, youre nancy huh, we're dancing huh, you fancy huh, I cant be a, 'nother face at this club, cause I'm dancin huh... with my shackles off. I'm a free free man, Oh maker can you please get me, paid for my bail but this world is tempting. I know you got a purpose to put me on this earths surface but I'm wonderin' I'm wonderin' if this is all worth it. You gave me my confidant, she gon' be my partner. I'll come across constituents that there'll be a lot of. Put me against my comrades cause I don't need this many contacts... Oh Maker tell these people tell these people that I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back, I'm back... but I've been here. 

Oh Maker, keepin' me heavy on the G.R.I.N.D. .. and still find it amazing that your love is mine. - "God is Love".. tattooed on my chest so I never will forget again. 

What Rules?

A friend during a conversation said "Who are they to tell me what we were"... and I agree. We are all each others unwritten rules. Some choose to follow those rules. Whatever works, for them. But pretty soon, you're going to have to figure out where you stand and who you are. And you're going to have to make a choice whether or not, other people and their unwritten rules are going to put your life in order. And tell you that your life is just like theirs. Or you can tell the world to shove it.. because, "non ducor duco".."I am not led, I lead".- God is Love

Facebook

I don't know why they have palm readers. I don't even know how palm reading works. But if it really did work, the biggest social media network would be called "Palmbook".

We can see a lot in a persons face. It's like, a book. Exactly. Faces tell us about the kind of life someones been living. We can seen if someones spent most of their life laughing and smiling, we can tell in the lines around their mouth and cheek. Grumpy old men usually have brushy eyebrows and downward features on their face cause they've spent their whole life frowning. ha. We can see the duality of someones life in their face. If they've had a mix of both immensely happy years of their lives and extreme lows. We can tell by the way they smile, if they're used to smiling, if their comfortable enough to smile in front of you. If they smile with their teeth or their lips. And their eyes. How tense their stare is. How bright their eyes are, and if their soul just as bright. A portrait of a person explains a lot. And that's all I ever need to know. When I look at you. When I look at her. When you look at him. Really look, feel their face if you want to. But that's where the story starts. That's where it ends. See how their status' change. And you might want to take a look in the mirror too, and take a look at yourself. I promise you'll 'Like' what you see. - God is Love

Pursuit of Joyfulness

Anyone can be happy. Anyone can be unhappy. Happiness is a pick-me-up in our lives. It's good, if we're always happy. I mean, that's great. People always talk about the pursuit of their happiness but I don't think that's what we should be chasing. God believes in our everlasting joy. Yeah, there's a difference. Joy is, forever. It's understood that we can't always be happy with everything that happens in our lives. But joy, joy is what keeps us content. Joy is what's going to pull us through. People ask me.. Donnel, why are you so happy? I tell them I'm not, I'm not happy, I'm joyful. The reason why I feel like I have enough is because I'm joyful. Because whether or not I have a job, or whether or not my life is going in the direction I'd like it to go.. I'm confident in my prayers that this is what His plan is for me. I may not be happy when I look in my empty wallet or I didn't get that one big break but I'm joyful, still. I'll take my chances and seize my opportunities. They might all be successful, they might all be a failure. I guess, the point I'm trying to make is, that we shouldn't be in pursuit of happiness when we aren't, We should be in search of the joy in what we have in our lives. What we have left after all the successes and failures, is what's going to pull us through. - God is Love

She works at the Coffee Shop

“Orange pekoe tea?” 

She knows, because I’ve been coming here for the past, 3 years. She’s only been working here for 10 months. I’ve worked in coffee shops for years myself, so of course her co-workers would tell her about the dude in the black toque and glasses that comes in everyday to get an orange pekoe tea. So, everyday when I walk in she asks me “Orange pekoe tea?”. As if she didn’t already know. But she asks, just in case I wanted to get something different. I said .. “You look tanned. How could you possibly be getting a tan if you’re stuck in this coffee shop everyday?”. It sounded pretty mean but she laughed. I took my tea and sat at a window seat. Cause y’know, that’s what writers do, we sit near windows and look out of them to get inspired. Pft, please. If you’re wondering if this, coffee shop, girl is pretty, well, yeah, she is. I have a problem with staring at beautiful girls straight in the face..

I may not know the details of her face, or the way she smiles or the colour of her eyes.. but I do know how to make her laugh. And how she laughs. I know her hands. That almost touch mine when she hands me my white cup’o tea. She likes to wear big sweaters, as do I. She pulls up her sleeves which it makes it look even more over sized. I know what shoes she’s wearing when she walks around. In the summer she wears these cowboy boots that stomp against the hardwood floors. It makes her look tall, and she wears sneakers in the fall. That make her look small. I stopped coming here for a while when I didn’t have a job because the prices here weren’t as cheap as her monday jeans. Or as fit to my wallet as her tuesday tights. But when I could spare a $2.67, she told me she only works from 1-7, I go out and buy me a, 

“Orange Pekoe Tea?”... 

“I’ll have a Chai today..” - God is Love

MADE

He picks his nose. Even when people are looking. Sometimes. He rides a blue mountain bike to school with a helmet, with foam cut out of a shark fin attached to the top. He describes himself as weird, soft-spoken and computer savvy. He's fun though, he's fun... like, alone in your room playing video games type fun. Still, fun, nonetheless. He thinks maybe it's cause he dresses weird or maybe it's his hobby, or his retainers, or maybe even how he drags his feet when he walks so the bottom of his jeans get all frayed. He said he could play sports. "But I don't like sports". He's big enough to be a lineman on the football team. "But I don't like football". 

"I like, archery, I like jousting. I like playing ages of empire in my room. I wish I could be a knight. I like arts section at chapters and the world history section. I like, I like... I like girls. That's why, I want to be made into... a ladies man" 

"I mean, he's sort of a dork, doesn't really hang out with a lot of people" 

"I don't know.. a ladies man?" 

He wants a date to the prom. Who doesn't want a date to the prom. 

"I got a secret text message to meet after school in my own room. So when the bell rung I hurried home. When I got home there was a note on the mirror, it read" 

Look in this mirror, and say "Hey, I'm your made coach".. 

People are suppose to like you for who you are. No one needs to tell you who's made for you. No one needs to teach you how to talk to the Megan Fox's of the world. Unless Megan Fox is into, archery.. and jousting and ages of empire.. cause then.. that would really mean that you got it MADE. - God is Love

Power

Sealed from Donnel Barroso on Vimeo.

Just a short I made. The track behind this is the intro from Rick Ross' "Tears of Joy". Which is an excerpt from Bobby Seale's "Tears of Joy" speech. (I'm not sure if it's actually called The Tears of Joy speech) Anyway, Bobby Seale along with Huey P. Newton co-founded the Black Panthers movement. 

I was really inspired by Marco Brambilla's exhibit. He's also responsible or creating Kanye West's latest "Power" video. I don't have a straight explanation for this. It means something different to me every time I watch it. Thanks for the view. Hope you guys are had a great summer as it's coming to a close. - God is Love  

Boys & Girls

Boy Meets Girl 

Boy really likes her. Boy's fallin' in love, nothing can come between it. But Girl kinda likes him. So every time she see him she leaves him heartbroken cause Boy's soft spoken, so, girl manipulates him from make up to break up cause Boy ain't got his cake up. He, can't take her shoppin' so, Boy is self-concious and every little bit he get he's emptyin' his pockets. But she don't see a future with him cause, Girl is kinda stuck up but through all of that bitching, Boy still loves her. And Boy is still committed but Girl ain't with it, so she don't visit that much. And he ain't got a whip so, they ain't get to kick it. Boy misses Girl but Girl stays distant. Phone call shorter than a midget, now he get's it. But he can't let go. And everytime Girl tries to end it, Boy tries to fix it. Boy's trying to stick it out, Girl's trying to kick him out, but Boy is trying to figure out, how to make it work. 'Cause Boy ain't never had love, but she ain't really have love so they ain't never had love. She's pretending like it hurts her to leave him, Girl's crying while listing her reasons, believing all that shit she's shoveling. Love is dying. 

Boy meets Girl. 

Girl really likes him. Boy say the same, but that ain't quite the case, see, cause lately, he act like, maybe it can't be. Girl put him back right, next to the Ex's. But he keep messin' with her cause he really dig her but not enough to me her main nigguh. Just enough to dig her out. Boy don't ever say it whenever she kick it with him, so she considers him hers but never figures it out. He don't see a future with her cause, Boy's kinda fucked up. Through all of the usin', Girl still loves him. But she ain't in his sight so whenever she around it's only on late nights. So, Boy keeps dickin' her and and Girl gets addicted. Girl's still down but he don't want her around whenever his boys visit to kick it so now she gets it. But can't let go cause, girl thinks she could fix it. Cause Girl wants to be his only, Boy wants to be the homie, but Girl is lonely and bonin' would just make it worse cause, Girl ain't really like that and he don't really like her and she ain't into nightcaps and having casual sex ain't connectin so Girl is second guessing on why she kept him. Believing all that shit he told her. 

- God is love 

Summer Break

must admit, I've been busy. And this heat is just too damn hot to write in... but when this heatwave is over, I got a lot to share. Have a great last weeks of summer ya'll - God Is Love

I can't eat this all by myself!!

If I was standing alone in a desert, I wouldn’t be the type to take a cactus needle and pinch my own blood out of my hand so I could write on a leaf about my current position. Because I can’t do this alone. Being in my room with my journal and macbook ready to be written in just isn’t my style. I hate it when it’s quiet. If I was the only one left on this earth I would, just die. But if there was one person on the other side of the planet, thinking they were the last person on this earth too? Well then.. I’d take a knife and drag it up my leg and write about a girl who loved hype, more than life. And write about a past love that I can’t get passed. I’d carve faces into boulders and maybe that person on the other side of the world would pass by. And wonder if there’s someone else out there. When that person and I find each other, it’ll be... shit, it’ll be great.

I don’t write for myself. I write so that other people may feel what I had felt. And tell me about how they feel. And how I could cope with my feeling, or encourage my feeling. Tell me if they feel bad, or tell me if they just burst with hapiness. 

I prepare a meal of words because I love to write.. but I don’t cook dinner for a million.. and eat alone. 

Have a seat. - God is Love

Stand

Stand for something. Or something will Stand in the way of what you could've stood for. And if you don't Stand for something in this life, let me ask you, what are you good for? I have no problem with thousands of people bending down on thier knees to pray, but if you Stand straight up, it's a little bit easier for God to hear what you're trying to say. You've already fallen for the sickness of jelousy, hatred and envy. Well, if you Stand for what you don't know, then why don't you Stand for what you believe. Stand for honour, your honour, I don't need to Stand and testify, you see I've taken and Stand and testified that taking a Stand was the best thing I've ever done in my life. I took a Stand against wrong, so I could Stand to do something right. And if you are Standing in my way, it's time that Stand aside. My mother once taught me that "can't" was not a word and "ain't" was not a verb and if I didn't Stand for what I said, I'd fall for what I heard. She told me, "you don't need anybody's help, you can Stand all by yourself" and "if you can't Stand on your own, you'll have to Stand on something else". Either you Stand by your words, or you Stand all by yourself. Alot of us, we're just on standby, just Standing by, letting life pass us by, and I'm not understanding why. Are you just an innocent bystander? Or are you just standing by? We lose the approval of God by seeking the applause of man. So, make your minds and plans, hold on with your hands, get on your own two legs and Stand. For something, or fall for anything. But if you find something to Stand for, you won't fall for many things. You may understand alot, but you cannot Stand for anything. And you can't Stand against the same you Stand for, and you can't Stand anything less if you can't Stand for anymore. Equality, Jesus, Family, Prosperity, those are some of the things I Stand for, but I can't Stand those people who are not against nor neither for, man, take a Stand...be either or. Either against, or either for. And once you find something in your heart to be eager for, then you Stand. Because your Stand, is your platform. Your life beings on it, Stand like your life depends on it and get ready for the war. Don't hold steady, go forward, straight ahead...^that way^..hold your hands up, look straight ahead...^that way^...and when it seems hard. Man, you just see God. And that way, whatever your problem, it'll be solved, that day. You give it to God, that day and that way, whatever problem or your situation, whatever circumstance you're facing, whatever dream that you're chasing, whatever oppurtunity that you've wasted...it won't hinder your progress.  Because His word, it Stands as his promise and that's just what He sees in you. So whatever it means to you, however important or unimportant it might seem to you, put on the armour of God, and let him lead in you. Know that I believe in you, and then all you need to do...is Stand. - God is Love

I know, I wrote this in '06 and re-posted it onto this blog in '08. And now, here in '10.. I'm still, standing.

I wanna die on top of the world

laughin' with my favorite girl. - god is love

Have a great weekend ya'll. I'm off to take my youth to CAMP nigguhhh. If ya'll aren't doin' anything, come out to ROCK THE RIVER concert in cloverdale! It's gonna be a blessed day.