Saturday, December 5, 2015

Fuck it or Fix it

I'm coming to a point in my life where a lot is changing. Quitting my job to pursue my passion as a career, I feel like I'm finally at a church and at a spiritual place where I'm more attentive and willing to grow. I feel like in the past couple years I've really tried to grow up. I kept myself in places where I could easily slip back into immaturity. I think it's when I first began to realize, accept and own up to the decisions I've made in the past and admitting my faults. There's really no going to back to changing what I said or what I did and I never really fully took ownership in those things. The past year has been a selfish year but it took me this year to really understand what it takes to grow out of yourself and become someone better. Relationship-wise I feel like I'm at a point in my relationship that I've never been before in the past. I've realized again, my faults and selfish behaviours and some of the troubles I've had in my relationship are due to some of the decisions I've made.  

I came across a tweet that isn't all that "deep" but very straight to the point. It read: 

"Fuck it or fix it" 

I believe everything can be fixed, but I've been having a hard time just saying 'fuck it' and end up carrying all this unnecessary weight on my shoulders. Despite all that, by the will and power of God I know I'll be ready to take on the years ahead. No matter what changes will come my way or the changes that I'll have to make on my own. I know He's got me. I haven't rested upon him in a while, maybe that's why I've been feeling so tired. I can't do this on my own. I can't rely on anyone but Him. In the next coming weeks... it's "fuck it or fix it". 

- God is Love 

Thursday, October 29, 2015

The Heart pt.1

Ever since my family left LHCC, my spiritual life has been in a drought. I've been so unmotivated in going to church and I just wasn't finding my place. Maybe it was just me being a snob in some way, not reaching out and not also not letting people reach me. My parents noticed and they suggested that I go ahead and find a church that was going to be more suitable for me. So I did. I even went back to LHCC. It was okay, it felt a little different. I enjoyed seeing my friends. I love seeing some of my oldest friends and people I grew up in my faith with. It's always great seeing them. But it was different. My parents decided to leave the church they were going to and moved to this brand new church. So they invited me to come. This church was bare bones. Bare bones like, the pastor was leading worship and there was an even number of people on the worship team than there was in the congregation. Unlike the bigger churches I was attending, I could easily disappear during the message and no one would notice. But with 15 people in the congregation it was more intimate and I really had no way of hiding. So I sat and listened to Pastor Rex. God really spoke to me in his message. Although, I can't remember it now. Something about the church and the message sparked a new found excitement in going to church. I'm more aware, I'm more attentive in listening to Him speaking to me. I found my heart again. I found the heart of what I am here to do. I found the heart of why I do what I do. The heart of worship. - God is Love 

I remember

I feel like I forgot how to blog. To really just spit out my thoughts. Over the past 3 years I've been so focused on structure, moreso having a message. I went back to my very first post on here and I was talking about Kanye's Graduation Album and 50 cents.. man I don't even remember any of his albums past Get Rich or Do Tryin. I also noticed that I was a little more fluent in bible verses and really was doing research on certain verses. It's inspired me to come back to this and just write. Write whatever. Just for myself. Lately, I've been writing for an audience. Knowing I had an audience to write to. So I wanted to make every caption or post something to think about. I wouldn't settle for a normal caption. I've been getting back to why I started doing this thing. With writing. With photography. Back to the heart of it. So here's to finishing 2015 strong. - God is Love 
We're all weird. Everyone is weird. We might be normal to someone else but weird to another. Does that make the both of you weird or normal? I don't know. 

I asked a friend if she had any weird obsessions or odd behaviours and she said she likes even numbers. The volume on the television had to be on an even number and other such things. She also said she finds the popping of bubble wrap therapeutic. Other have behaviours that they're not even aware of and that only other people notice. Some people fart in their sleep and if you tell them that they would never believe you unless you recorded it. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies. Sometimes we call them "imperfections". It's those imperfections that determine whether someone really, really loves you. When someone asks you to share a memory of the person you love.. you don't remember how much money they made or even how beautiful they looked, it's those little idiosyncrasies that we mention. Those little things we love that make the biggest differences. - God is Love 

The Difference

We've all heard the phrase "opposites attract". I never thought so much about it but all I figured in my mind is that it makes sense. Opposites attract, identical people also attract each other. 

Every one has their "ideal" person they'd like to be with when asked what kind of person they're attracted to. It's realistic to think we're not all going to find a person with every single trait we ask for in a significant other. Most of us accept that. Somewhere during the relationship the differences we have with that person can either make it, or break it. Even though we're accepting of the fact that that person differs from us in certain aspects, it doesn't mean when things get sour that they need to be "fixed". That's when we get conversations like "You need to be more like this.." and "Why can't you be like.." or "You need to learn to be.." etc. That's when we get annoyed and think that if he/she was more or less like this and that, that everything would be better. The problem isn't in the differences, it's actually in the thought that we want them to be more like ourselves. 

We need to focus on each others strengths instead of trying to mould over the weaknesses. That's what we have each other for. To be strong where they are weak. We accept the person that they are, we encourage her/him to be the best them. That doesn't mean trying to make them be the best you. Don't make her wear Jordan's if she doesn't want to. Don't be upset that he's forgetful. Let her wear what she wants. Be the person that reminds him to check if he has everything he needs before he leaves the house. Shoes need a left and right. We don't wear the left shoe on our right foot. Imagine we're the left shoe and they're the right. Put yourselves on the right feet and be the perfect pair. That is what makes all the difference. 

If you and I are the exact same.. the one of us isn't necessary. - God is Love 

New Age

The generation that I come from is interesting. I was at a conscious enough age when I was younger to know what the world was like before the internet. I grew up with the generations that have only known of a world with the internet. I had classes in elementary school that taught us how to use the internet, how to set up an email, how to use powerpoint etc. Today, those skills are almost second nature. I remember I laughed when my aunt wanted to sign into her email account and typed in the browser.. I've never been amazingly tech savvy. I was never into gadgets or technology. I didn't even own an iphone until about last year. I owned a prepaid phone from 7-eleven. The most technologically advanced thing I had were my macbooks. I have two. But now every kid is getting a macbook. It's not just for the creatives anymore. You see kids in strollers with their moms with an ipad or some touchscreen device playing angry birds or watching a movie. Downloading apps on their own, taking photographs all these things that still kind of amazes me. I'm actually still amazed about how a telephone works. haha.

The phrase "The world is at our fingertips" has been redefined and has never been so true. You can have access to almost anything with the internet, having a computer or even a cellular phone. You can see everything that's going on in the world. You can learn anything you want. There is online tutorial for everything. I was never a big fan of school. I agree that education is key. These days, you almost don't have to go to school and go through 4-5 years of university to have a good job and make a living. People these days are educating themselves. If you're not, it is very very easy to do so. It's a combination of both these days. School education and work skill. As a creative, opportunities to learn and advance yourself are endless. You don't have to go to school. You can buy a camera and start learning about photography or filmography, do some shoots, do some videos, gain a client base and network and bam, you have a career. That could happen within a year of purchasing a camera and that is a real example. I have a friend who has succeeded within a year of buying a camera and landed jobs that someone who is sitting in a classroom is dreaming of right now. 

There are pros and cons about the new age in technology. This information age. I can see how my parents or even my grandparents don't understand things that are going on. Or that they don't even want to. Because they can still live a life without touch screen gadgets and facebook. Sometimes we look down on people this day in age that are "always on their phones" or on some social networking app or social media app. The youth these days are glued to these screens and we're like "what is this world coming to!!" We don't realize that, that's normal for them. It's not "bad" or "sad" that it's the norm. We blame the internet . Our parents probably looked at us and blamed television. But look at us, we turned out fine. So will they. There will be bad outcomes to this day in age and there will be positives. Let's focus on the positives and how we can turn the negatives into positives. 

My parents were immigrants. They taught me the value of hard work. Living and working honestly, humbly and provision. Just because some jobs are made easier by the click of a button, that doesn't mean we still cannot teach our future generations these same values. I look at my parents and what they went through and I'm fortunate that they were able to give me a better life because I didn't grow up working in rice fields and farms in a 3rd world country. Although I never grew up like that, there will always be hardships in every generation, every generation has it's rice field. Mine just looks different than my parents. - God is Love 


They tell her "I want to take you on adventures". But they don't know the adventure she seeks is not one of destinations and travel. They tell her "You're so beautiful". But they don't know the compliments she seeks are not ones of endearment and praise. They tell her they love her, they seek her attention. She pays no mind. They fill her cup with water only to quench their own thirst. 

You don't give someone a world they already know. You give them a world they never knew existed. - God is Love 

Monday, April 6, 2015

What is Love without Trust - God is Love