Friday, January 9, 2009

Writers Block..."Heartless"

When I was younger I had more self-control. If I was tempted, I would run. Now that I'm older, I begin to lie, to get exactly wat I want, when I wanted it, and yeah, I wanted it. Now, I'm having trouble differentiating what I want and what I need to make me happy, so instead of thinking I just act, before I have the chance to contemplate the consequences of action. I'll turn off and shut down, burying that voice of conscience in my head, I will turn and shut down, the chemicals heartless inside my head. And ever since I figured out, I've done that to someone, I've had trouble sleeping, with both eyes closed. If I asked permission to make sure it's okay, and that I'd promise I won't slip up this time. You can trust me, right? Never take advice from someone who just admitted to being devious. Who just confessed to treason. I would ask you that same question that I cannot as myself, for I might dirty up your conscience. 

She said that one day, I'm going to be sad, so sad that it's going to actually hurt. And that day, I'm going to think of her, and she won't be there. I'm going to realize that I lost the only person that really, really knew me. 

I did. today, 01/08/09, I lost 07/07/07. I know, this time, just like that date, she's not going to coming around again.  

2 comments:

MACHRISTINA said...

damn.. good blog :(
i need a favour from you..
can you make your font size a little bigger :$

?onnel said...

haha. I will try and make my font bigger. maybe I'll just bold everything. haha.