Writer's Love..."Before there was Love"

There was diapers, mushy food, Philippines, gifts that weren't money, half-day school days, times when grades didn't exist, subjects were different, language arts was the subsitute name for English, bowl cut haircuts, monochormatic sweat suits, VHS, light up shoes, tucking in your shirt was cool, wrapping your jacket arms around your waist was fresh, knock knock jokes instead of "that's what she said", calling eachother "gaylords" instead of ass?uckers, when and1 streetball, hot sauce ?igga, jerseys, headbands, wristbands worn not on our wrist, all-round spikey hair, or the little flick in the front, long straight hair hair split in the middle, dorihna jeans, stiff-grinding at dances, boners when girls gave guys hugs, "i heard so-and-so likes you", when you could ask a girl out without getting to know her first, late nights(10pm), dial-up connection, ONLY msn, when noone would put thier actual name as their display name, when we all had emails like "azndragon94, FlipBalla604, shortysofine, xox_angel_xoxo and so on and so forth, bikes and rollerblades instead of cars, unemployment, when we thought that drinking and drugs were a death sentence, ring pops, pop rocks, 5 cent candies from 7 eleven, slurpies, popularity, highschool, yan-yans, pocky, highschool, drama, bra's...Oh shoot, nevermind, that was after Love. My bad. - God is Love 

Breakfast Anyone?...

The thing is that, it's like breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day, yet, we don't mind if we skip it, everyday. We tell our friends that "Man, I don't even have time to eat breakfast". We go on getting used to not eating breakfast, that we only have it when it's dinner. And not, when we're suppose to have it. What is it that makes us not have time for breakfast anymore? Cause, we wake up late, er...get up late? I don't know what it is, but somehow, I have to get up earlier, so I have time for breakfast, and maybe I'd feel better for the rest of my day. -God is Love 

Wriers Block..."Universal Love Control"

I've been a subscriber of the New York Times for a couple years now, and everyday I get a slew of emails form the paper. I don't really pay attention to the emails, because I go on the site anyway, and the emails just remind me to go on. This morning I got curious with the emails and I read an article by Matthew Parker. He writes the "modern love"  columns in the paper and it's pretty dope because he is actually an ex-convict and spent almost 8 years in prison. However, got his B.A. in English and is a really dope columnist. Anyway, he wrote a more personal column today and told a story about his life, which was only two online pages long but felt as if it were as long as a movie. His story was about how he met a girl from Colombia, and has been visiting her for the past year or so, and he tells about his struggle with patience and how she(Gerenith is her name) is strong to hold her values about "i love you's" and sex, and marriage. All 3 things are considered different by many people, cultures, ages. 

Generith is probably the dopest chick ever, even though I don't even know her or even seen her, but her Patience and her firmness in love flys out my screen and hits me in the heart. Still she's hasn't uttered the words "I Love You" to Matthew, and still they've never had sex, and she was even furious to Matthews proposal for marriage. Young people and even older people rush into these things as if it were something they need to check of thier "To Do" list. Our culture and our beliefs play a small role in our ability to wait, or rush into these things. It's our take on Patience and Trust that make all the difference in our relationships with the opposite sex. No matter how much Matthew coaxed Generith into spending the night with him or asking her to marry him she always replied with a firm "No". "We're not ready" she said again and again. The more frustrated he got with her, the more she cared for him. When she got angry at him for asking her to marry him so he could bring her to america she answered "Marriage isn't just a legal document...it is a joining of our hearts". I know it's corny and all that but it's true. 

Love has lost all meaning in todays world. Or rather, noone knows the meaning of Love. I know Love takes Time. Time from our Life. Time we need Patience. Trust to Love. So if we take Time in our Life to Learn how to Trust, be Patient and not rush, then we'll know how to Love. I don't know much about it, but I know that God is Love. The more I seek God, the more I know how to really, really, Love. Cause God is our everything, and our everything is Him. - God is Love. 

Here's the Link to Matthew Parker's article if you're interested....MODERN LOVE(just click on it)

"Goodb-...See you Later.."

I'm glad that I went and found you. Just like Life, and Time...I hope you'll be coming back around. Promise? 

All I'm left with, is the air you took, and the breath you left...

God IS Love and Love No Other

Writers Block..."LifexTime"

I was thinking of that saying "Time repeats itself" today. I remember I heard it when I was in grade 12 in sewing class. I read it on the commerative edition of Rolling Stone to Barack Obama, and in an article in the New York Times about our worlds current events. I believe that we can only go one way in our life, and that's forward. Time repeating itself doesn't really mean, we're taking steps back in time, more that, it's coming back around. 

Fashion-wise, skinnys were the dope ?hit in the 1950's when stars like Elvis and Marilyn Monroe donned them. 50 years later, they're not only worn my the stars, but it's become most peoples everyday jean. Some people don't even own anything but slim-fit or drainpipe jeans(thats what they used to call them). Things like jeans, or boyfriends, or girlfriends, or friends in general, come, then run, and come back again. But everytime they come around, they're different from what they were before.

 The outcomes of our lives are based upon how we act to what's in front of us, we could lose a friend, and they could come back around, but the difference this time around, is if you decide to hate, or hand shake. Barack Obama did not decide to win the presidential election. The people of the united states of america decided that. Time and our lives, only go one way, and that's forward. Are some of us really going to sit still and watch life and time pass us by? 

You guys can stand around and ?hit but I'm running with the clock. If it so happens my problems catch up with me, I'll stop to tie my shoes. And keep on runing. I'm running with life, my life is God, and I'm running after Him. 

HEY! No standing around in the hallways....-God IS Love

Poets Block?..."Type HeartBreak"

Sorry, I know you guys got that whole Shihan "type love" all tickling your heart and ?hit...but, I had I really can't think of my type love cause...

When my type love was really my type heartbreak, and I sort of, get lost because I only knew of thier love, but now I only know of my type heartbreak, and it sucks to think that, shihans words was never anything I was type heartbreak, Like I ain't never do nothin' for them type heartbreak, and it's heartbreaking to know that they're reading this like "pft" type heratbreak, cause I was the one who didn't want to stay type heartbreak, it's that kind of heartbreak that makes you stay busy every single hour of the day so you don't have a free moment to think about them type heartbreak, it's that, look at old picures and deleting them type heartbreak, giving back thier stuff type heartbreak, knowing that songs like "single ladies" is applicable to them type heartbreak, you got that one song that tells your whole break-up type heartbreak, the type that'll make 'em sick in the stomach by reading this, but keeps reading the rest of it anyway to see what else type ?hit I'm gonna say type heartbreak, wondering what they're doing type heartbreak, are they with someone new type heartbreak, hhhmmmm.....it hurts to know that one of these days someones going to love them better than you type heartbreak, that complaining to your friends about all they're wrongs type heartbreak, the forgetting all the good stuff we did type heartbreak, that, don't even have the feeling to drive cause you'll probably zone out into that one song you got on repeat and zone into another car type heartbreak, so you, take the transit and zone out there, and just hope someone gets off the same stop as me cause only that "ding" of the "next stop" sign can get me out of zoning out type heartbreak, that maybe another person who could solve this type heartbreak, but really only you yourself can fix this type heartbreak, it's that dialing thier number on your phone and leaving your finger on  top of the call button type heartbreak, the turning into a vampire, up til 3am type heartbreak, the "I hate (enter gender here)" type heartbreak, that heartbreak that pains you so deep that you really think that you made the wrong decision and make the decision to call them to work it all out again type heartbreak, but I know, with a pain this deep, that you'll never feel one any deeper, that gives you hope for the next one type heartbreak, cause everything broken can be fixed, in progress, and if it causes us to hurt more along the way than you're only speeding up the process, but one thing about heartbreaks is that we think of God, less, and when we're God-less, we're more heartless than we were in that relationship type heartbreak...but, it's that "lesson learned" type heartbreak, that I was thankful to have been with a person like them type heartbreak, that maybe from this type heartbreak, that I'd clearer see my type love..- God IS Love. 

Writers Block..."Love?uest"

I was SUPPOSED to be on vacation from this thing. But I had enough of Denise's bullying. So she kicked my ass back on the blogs. But I'm consistently writing now, mos definite. 

Cool fact: A restaurant/bar/hotel in West Hollywood called Palihouse, has a drink in thier bar called "Writers Block". What a coincidence! I don't really know why it's called so, and neither do I know if it relieves Writers Block, but hey, It's a pretty cool drink name. I guess because they cater to alot of writers and producers, agents and some execs. Ingredients: vodka, fresh lime juice, apple, cucumber, muscat sparkling wine for a good 11$. wow. haha. The doorkeeper of the place commented on the dress code and she said "Look Sharp, everyone has a nice handbag. I see alot of black". BLACK MEMO, we're good to go. haha. Okay, let's go in. 

I was flippin' through my old psych textbook from my first year of college, and there was a small part on Erik Eriksons theory on Psychosocial Development. He just outlines how peoples thought and action in our lives develop through age. It's pretty cool, unlike some wierd theories like how man evolved from monkeys(haha), Eriksons theory is meaningful, and really helpful in finding out about life and the lessons we learn. 

One of the stages he explains in the battle we face between intmacy and isolation. By the time we reach our young adulthood(soon to be arjel) we should have some thought on our choices from being with someone or not. As we get older, we sort of see people filter through different funnels, some people decided to have a serious 4 year relationship during college, some party thier hearts out and hook up with a million people. We've probably learned that it's good to live a healthy, balanced lifestyle. That's what this battle is about. A balance of intimacy and isolation makes love possible. I believe that we all have to know what it's like to be alone, to learn how to truly love. I don't think that dating woman after woman, is ever going to teach me the levels of love. I'll probably learn a couple tricks, if you know what I mean, but if we abuse intimacy, and we're left with nothing, it's a straight fall to the deepest depth of isolation. 

We have to have some sort of eagerness for intimacy, and although some people are blessed with the gift of singleness, most of us aren't, and we'll never know love if we make ourselves distant from it. 

In the end it all comes down to balancing these two, finding a middle, so that this no longer has to be a battle between the two, rather than a truce. It's just like any old ancient recipe for anything, you can't have too much nor too little. It's gotta be just right. - God is Love

Writers Stop...

Hi-ate-us...

Writers Block..."Heartless"

When I was younger I had more self-control. If I was tempted, I would run. Now that I'm older, I begin to lie, to get exactly wat I want, when I wanted it, and yeah, I wanted it. Now, I'm having trouble differentiating what I want and what I need to make me happy, so instead of thinking I just act, before I have the chance to contemplate the consequences of action. I'll turn off and shut down, burying that voice of conscience in my head, I will turn and shut down, the chemicals heartless inside my head. And ever since I figured out, I've done that to someone, I've had trouble sleeping, with both eyes closed. If I asked permission to make sure it's okay, and that I'd promise I won't slip up this time. You can trust me, right? Never take advice from someone who just admitted to being devious. Who just confessed to treason. I would ask you that same question that I cannot as myself, for I might dirty up your conscience. 

She said that one day, I'm going to be sad, so sad that it's going to actually hurt. And that day, I'm going to think of her, and she won't be there. I'm going to realize that I lost the only person that really, really knew me. 

I did. today, 01/08/09, I lost 07/07/07. I know, this time, just like that date, she's not going to coming around again.  

Updates at 3am..

Ya'll probably never knew I played ball? That was in highschool, please, test my skills. Callin' anyone out. haha. I'm serious, I really feel like playing ball, I'll even shovel the court near my house. Does anyone wanna play ball? Besides that, I was trying to find some stuff in my room that my dad moved around when he re-arranged it when I left for the phils, and I found my basketball from  our championship game. Yeah, I took that shit home, sorry burnaby central. You're one less TF1000. I realized how much I missed playing ball, I was reading a very old blog from when I was grade 8, and I was talking about how ball is my life. haha. How things change hey? I wrote "Nothing will feel as smooth as the leather spinning in my palm, no beat will sound as sweet as the ball on the hardwood.I love basketball. No matter how tight I wear my jeans, Im a baller for life. Even when I grow old, and the only dribbling I'll be doing is the drool on my shirt when I sleep, haha, I'll always, always be...a baller"

So, anyone want to play some ball?

I promised you a fly girl and a fly girl you get. This should've been done in while I was in the Philippines. Trust me ya'll, out of all the girls I saw, My cousin was dressed the flyest. Why? Because everyone wears bright plaid skinnys and diagonaly striped shirts. haha. So I went on a search for the most americanized looking girl, and here's my cousin, she was too shy to smile, hahah. 

I did see this one crazy chick at the mall but she had a man, so I think I would've gotten beaten up or something. hahah. 

To tell you the truth I haven't been updating myself on new hip hop music lately, but I've been doing the indie rock thing again for a bit. haha. I know Pac Div has a new track out there called "NoNo!", I've been listening to that on repeat. I went back and listened to some older albums and Soulstar by Musiq Soulchild. Shoot. Every track on there is crazy. Aswell as John Legends "Evolver" album. Wow. 

Two things to be excited for...STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI.

You know what's dope? Kristen Kreuk plays Chun Li!! Whhhaaaaaaaa. 

Second thing...January 27th from 5-7, THE CLIPSE, probably one of the most lyrical rap duos of all time is in-store at livestock in gastown. Shiiieeetttt. Ya'll probably most remember them for their classic single "Grindin"...boom, ccchh, boom-boom-boom, ccchhh, boom boom-boom...hahahah. I'm excited ya'll, I mean, most people probably never really followed the Clipse as much as I did and I could ramble on about why Malice and Pusha T are influencial to hip hop but I'm tired as hell. haha. Aiite. 

I think that's all. - God is Love...

"Writers Block"..."Yes We Did"

It's winter and I'm stuck inside this house, and I'm back in vancouver. Man, this snow. 

I had a 4 hour stop over in taipei, and then a 11 hour flight from taipei to vancouver. That's alot of no talking, and thinking. My stopover in taipei gave me alot of time to get myself updated on my blog sites I haven't looked at, mainly because I couldn't dowload any new music while I was there cause of the slow sleep internet. Everyone has those reminiscent, foreshadowing new years blog, and I was thinking about doing that too, I believe I had a pretty memorable year. As much as reminiscing is fun and all, I have to say, I don't believe in New Years. Well, I just don't celebrate it. I came up with this thoery when I was 13, that if I lived without checkpoints in my life, I'd feel asl if I lived longer, and that I'd look at everything not by years, not by events, but my life as a whole. That everything in my life just happens in one long swing. If I became addicted to smoking right now, would I just make a resolution to stop smoking in 2010? When did you realize you needed to lose wieght?(noone needs to lose wieght its jsut an example) Obviously not on December 31st. I'm sure sometime in the middle of the year, a problem came that you needed to fix, or change, and really, does it take a 'new year' to help you get started? If you weren't going to make a resolution you first realized, then what's the point of making one in the New Year? What makes a new year so special that all of a sudden we have a million things to be ambitious about? If we resolved our problems, when we first realized them, then girl phoning jenny craig right now, you would be 50 pounds lighter for 2009 if you started working out in March, guy who died from lung cancer, if you stopped smoking when you were 23 maybe you would've lived to see 2009. I know that sounds a bit mean, but I really don't know what the whole commotion on the new years about. I know it's like a a "New Year" in time, but if I were to be annoyingly technical, we'd be celebrating new years the same day as our birthday, unless we're all born on january 1st or december 31st? Right? So Happy....new..no. Happy...life.