Conversatios at a Highschool Dance..."That's a First"

I keep this book I've been making for the past some odd years. It contains all my "first's" of everything. For example, this picture. 'My First Championship'. It's wierd to think that this happened almost 10 years ago. It has my firsts from my first guitar(Speyer Acoustic) to my first kiss(secret), to my first cell phone(Sony ericsson) and my first song I slow danced to.(U Got It Bad - Usher)

There really is a "first for everything". With those firsts, come a whole 'nother set of firsts. Our first Love, could lead to our first kiss, could possibly even be our first spouse and then you could have your first, child. The great thing about first's is having something to reflect on, when it happens the second time. It's a foundation, in our learning experiences. I remember the first time I stubbed my toe I seriously fell to the ground clenching my toe. Did the whole peter griffin thing. Now I watch where I walk, so I don't have to embarrass myself when my mom walks in the living room with her friend finding me rolling on the ground in pain. They say we never forget our firsts, I guess it's pretty true. Even if we've had a second, and third, fourth, or twentieth, we're always going to recollect the very first time we've done something. Or, the very last time...

Happy 1st of December. Happy last month of the decade. - God is Love

Conversations with a Jerk..."Happy Birthday Ella"

Crash my car, buy me froyo, make some halo-halo with a blender, whatever....Thanks. I'm in a "Sentimental Mood", so I hope the moon is blue on your birthday. ha. Happy birthday Ella. Your letter will come in the mail. - God is Love

Conversation on the Highway..."I'm On My Break"

All day I dream about, Work. The magazines, the macbook, the portfolio, the book, the projects, the films, the blog, my lifestyle.

All day I dream about, Sunday Mornings. The blueberry bagels, the clouds in my eyes, the drums, the speakers, the pastor, the Word, my God.

All day I dream about, Writing. The blogspot, the journal, the bathroom walls, the notepad, the blank pages, my First Love.

All day I dream about, Family. The parents, the grandparents, the cousins, the friends, the grandfather, the tita's, the tito's, my Foundation.

All day I dream about, Dreams. The loft, the wife, the kids, the cities, the flashing lights, the ties, the suits, the sneakers, my Future.

All day I dream about, Nothing. The one hour wait, the 5 minute walk, the 10 stations, my...Getaway.

I'll walk around the city, snapping photographs, reading my bible, writing in my journal, dodging calls from my mom, looking at the skyscrapers, walking into my office and go to work for 23 hours and 30 minutes. I'll work my ass off, so I can have that 30 minute vacation. It's crazy how 1 thing can stop your whole life, even for 30 minutes, or 30 seconds, and all that dreaming, all that work, all day, amounts to nothing, compared to your 30 minute break. I don't encourage zoning out for 30 minutes, especially if you're driving. haha, but sometimes it's good to just stop whatever it is your doing, and think, about absolutely nothing. Anyway, I gotta go on my break. - God is Love

Conversations with my Closet..."Going Somewhere?"

Ever have those days where you're not really going anywhere, but you feel liek you do. You feel like you're going to see someone but your phone hasn't rung all morning. Peep the scenario...It's a beautiful day, atleast for Vancouver, anything that's not raining is beautiful. It's an odd hour, 2:15 in the afternoon or something like that, sort of an odd time to leave the house, a little bit off you're regular time but you get ready anyway. Open up your closet and there's 50 or so hangers and you still feel like there's nothing to wear. Try on your favorite pair of jeans hoping a default outfit would suffice but even those don't feel right. So you put on a pair of pants you haven't worn in a while hoping that it will provide some refreshment in your choice for an outfit. You go on the computer for a bit, watch some family channel in the outfit that you think you're going to wear. After a couple looks in the mirror, some pointless strides through the house you're back standing in the middle of your room in your undergarmets. There's that feeling where you actually feel like your putting thoughts in your head, and everything is all over the place. But one thing that's stood still is your current comfortability of you in your underwear. A song you like plays on your iPod and it's back to the closet, out the door, and into nowhere, into, everywhere, for no reason at all.

My parents used to tell me not to leave the house unless I had somewhere to go, that was important. I obviously never listened and I'd get up in the morning as if I had a 9-5 or a class to be in, throw on a nice shirt and my favorite pair of jeans and leave the house, honestly, with nowhere to go. More than often, I'll have these days here, that I described in the first paragraph. More than often I ignore the fact that I have nowhere to be and go out. Lately, I've been trying this hanging around the house in my underwear thing...

Why go out and kill time with plans that were never made, when we can be still and spend time with plans that are. - God is Love

Conversations with a Brother..."Swinging On One Bar"

That's a genuine smile..haha

Monkey bars are my favorite part of the jungle gym, until I got too tall to swing on them. When I was younger, I used to swing from end to end, endlessly. Before my legs grew to touch the ground I was always scared to let go. (Partially because you get that shock feeling in your ankles when your feet hit the gravel beneath you) So I'd always just try and swing to the end to the other platform. I even used to swing so hard I'd skip a bar, ha, but I'm reminiscing too much, I'll quickly get to the point. Sometimes, people are just like swinging on monkey bars. Not ever wanting to come down, hanging there sometimes, but in order to move to the next monkey bar you have to let go of the one you're already holding onto. You can't let go of the one you're holding, unless you grab the one in front of you. Sometimes, poeple are like that, sometimes, people should be like that.- God is Love

Conversation...From "One Seat Away"

It's not, new but it's unfamiliar. It's not, butterflies but I get that "feeling" y'know? Or maybe you don't, maybe I don't, I don't know. I want to jump and scream but I don't want to be loud because I enjoy the quiet moments. But, I don't want to waste a second not learning, not, talking. I'm not clingy but I want to know what's up, often. They say your next should be better than your last but it's not even like that, because, it's different. But, the same. But, I don't know. I try and make moves but it gets me frozen but I should be comfortable, because it's warm but, I don't know. Something about it just makes me smile and smack my forehead with the heel of my palm and I can feel my face flood with redness. It's unexplainable but I know exactly how to write it down but I don't want to because I don't want to embarras myself. But I missed that train 9 sentences ago so here goes...

.,'k[op[,ul'lxdfjg84539rhfef you know what I mean? No, okay. Have you ever felt like you just, don't, know. But you're okay with it? As if having a solid concrete answer doesn't matter, but it does, and you could get that answer so simply but it just doesn't matter because you know already. So we just stay wondering, thinking in between the truth and our fantasies passing by the fact that the two are one in the same. - God is Love