En(d)terlude

I eat writing for breakfast

How many times did I graduate, again? My friends mom told me that with all this sleeping I've been doing, I'm going to wake up one day and I'll be 18. I woke up today and I'm pretty sure I overslept 2 years. I can't oversleep forever, but it's a good way to rush it. How many times did my life begin, now, now, now? I handed everything over to Him, and my mind was cleared. I didn't do my job, to clear her mind. Instead I was worried about being a professional blogger, spending time in and out of coffee shops thinking, about what? Proverbs 12:25 says "an anxious heart wieghs a man down.." and my anxiety disabled me to show her that Love, is Him. So she left me with her heart and I threw it in the air for someone else to catch, because I need to develop my friendships, and treat my sisters in Lord like gold. I got what I asked for, so what now?

2 months later I had Writer's Block. So let me explain, I used to B.L.O.G. is a play off a song, and reading is free isn't it obvious? Everything was Sobeautiful and the new year came and skipped the resolutions. Because my Writers...Stopped.

Breakfast anyone?....If I was a top notch writer all this would make sense but I got amnesia in my writing so bare with this Rough Draft. Before there was love, there was God, and since God is love, let me ask you? Which came first,the God or the Love? I asked homie if I could hold his hand, cause I needed some comfort while I had these chocolates. My minds been borrowed but take my body, cause i feel ask if they're in two different places. This love is strong and at waitings end, well, I don't have time, in my life, to wait, anymore, so I retire the two three. And whatever was left, should fade and when it comes back, it should come back different, at God's speed.

I can't say this enough but thank you, for reading my blogs. I can't explain how appreciative I am to have poeple even read the first sentence of my posts. I'm probably not the most viewed blog out there but those who stick with me and those who come in and out I seriously love you guys. I know this post was a little confusing but it was the best compilation of a bunch of my blog titles put together, and all your comments over the, two I years I think, have pushed me to write. So thanks, to you guys, to God. is love.

Conversations with a Friend..."At Waiting's End"

When I was young and jobless I used to wait every two weeks for my mom to get paid so I could go shopping. Even though she could only afford to buy me one t-shirt, I'd spend those 13 days before that walking in and out of stores looking for t-shirts and eventually narrowing it down to one. I never got impatient because I knew it was certain that I'd get a new shirt every two weeks. It's bittersweet how simple things such as waiting become difficult. Nothing is ever an overnight success, everything takes time. Taking time, means, waiting. Sometimes we're not even certain to what it is we're waiting for, sometimes, we're not even certain if we should be waiting. It's another fork in the road, although no decision is either right nor wrong. Both ways has it's twists and turns, and eventually both paths will lead to a single road, of happiness. It's all up in air until we decide which way we go. Whether it be, success, happiness or some odd virtue or lesson learned we want out of this waiting, keep that in mind that that's what you want, and if one decision takes you on a longer stroll, point is, we're going to get there, eventually, we just have to wait...it just takes...

Time. There never seems to be enough of it. Unfortunately for us, time seems to stand so painfully still when we are waiting. There are no loops holes, no "how-to's" to cheat the hands of time into moving forward. There is no possible way in doing so. Luckily for us, we have the glorious ability to keep busy but even then, the gnawing feeling of what awaits at the end of the road is rather daunting. The possibilities are endless. However, we get one of three concrete outcomes: What we want (what we've so desired), what we anticipated (wether it be for the best or worst) and what we did not expect at all. To wait usually means that we are no longer acting like the "best friend" in some epic adventure or a romantic comedy, but we have now graduated into something of a "leading lady." We are now starring in our own personal role, a role that we have always meant to lead. To wait means living that lust for life that has been pent up simply because we were scared. But when all the things are said and done, when our hearts have completely spilled, and there is only heaven's tears beating against the window, waiting is the only thing left. As the seasons continue to waltz, as the soothing sound of the acoustics reverberate throughout the peaceful room and the world continuous to move, we are still waiting. Until then, we live our lives and do what we got to, the wait will be over soon enough. To wait is to move forward. To move forward is to wait. The wait, regardless of the outcome, will set anyone free...finally. - God is Love

Thank you to Jessa Ramos who linked up with me to write the second half of this blog. I hope to collaboratively write with other people as well and I hope you guys like this one, out of more to come. Thanks. - D

Conversations With Myself

Not a Main Street Mom, but my favorite mom at that...

I've been on the serious love tip, and I just want to address something weirdly expressive but hey. I haven't been going to my regualr places lately, mainly because I picked up and moved to Seattle but I came up to Vncvr to visit and I sat in my usual spot at blenz on main and 26th. People watching is one of my favorite acitivites and on this one particular day tehre seemed to be a trend in peoeple walking by my window. MAIN STREET MOMS. They're not "milfs" or anything, they're actually, cool. They have thier strollers that they've bought from one of thsoe specialty baby boutiques, dressed unknowingly in fashion. Skinny's, Keds, a cardigan that wasn't bought from value village but probably passed down from thier mothers. I'm a photo creep but I was too busy looking at them that i wasn't able to get a picture of a good example, but next time you're on main street, Vncvr, look out for these women. Who look like house sitting mothers picking up thier kids from kindergarten but catch them down the street at Cascade having a drink and a laugh on the side. This blog didn't really have any cool lines, it's just things I think about in between all the "profound" blogs I usually post. If any of you know me, this is probably something I'd bring up in real life, so I'm sure your not surprised. alright, til next time. - God is Love

Borrow My Mind.."Back Problems"

I always hear a lot of young poeple complaining about back pains, or back problems. I'm guessing it's due to our generation and carrying backpacks all the time and hip hops influence on bad posture. Kidding about the last one. Presently, we don't really think about the long term effects of certain actions or activites that we use everyday. I had my WHMIS(Workplace Haszard Materials Information System) certification as module in my nursing program. It just teaches us about things to look our for in normal workplaces and most boringly teaches us about "Safe Lifting". I'm sure at every job you've had they teach about about safe lifting, since we're young we don't really think too much about "lifting with our knees" and we go on lifting and tackling and jumping and flipping because at our age our bodies are capable of wear and tear. Then we wonder why our backs are sore the next day. Our backs are the foundation of our mobility and if we don't take care of our backs we're sort of screwed. So next time you decide to gangsta lean in the whip, take into account that you won't look so gangsta when your lean in permanent. Let's not put too much stress on our backs, take some time to stretch those knots and tangles at the end or our days, and if you need someone to help you, I got your back - God is Love

Borrow My Mind..."Love Strong"

I have a feeling I've used this picture already...oh well.

"There's a sad reality in you know?"..."Just believe that what should happen, will happen"..."You did all you can to get her back and you've told her how you feel"...Thanks.

I don't know what it is that makes people do the craziest things to get another ones attention. I watch all these romantic movies where a deceased man sends his widowed wife a trail of letters, or a man spending 500 days with a season. Even if a guy isn't sleeping at playgrounds because you wouldn't wake up to the rocks hitting your window, or even biking from another city to tell you He loves You or if a girl is bending over backwards to get you to realize that she's the one for you, it doesn't mean that these things can't happen. I'm sure screenplay writers don't make these things up without thinking that a man catering to a woman waking up thinking it's October 13, 2002 everyday wouldn't be possible in real life. Sometimes, I think, we fall into the fantasy of our own fantasies thinking that these things are all make believe. Sure, maybe someone won't write you a love song and sing it to you on a plane or stand on top of a coffee stand and publicly confess their love for you but whomever it is, that's meant to love you, will do something as simple as telling you they love you. It'll feel 854385739 times greater than anything you've ever seen in a movie. 'Cause it's yours, it's your story, it's your love. - God is Love...probably one of the corniest blogs but whatever, I'm feelin' the love vibe. HAHA. Thanks guys.

Borrow My Mind..."Faded"

I just finished reading "Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold for the second time. I don't usually read fiction novels but I really like this one. When I first saw it in the 9th grade I thought it was pretty girly, but I picked it up about a year ago and it's one of my favorite books of all time. Hopefully the movie coming doesn't fail. Anyway, let's get it in...

So what does this book have to do with my post tonight? Well, I always wondered what it would be like to be a ghost, and see everything, birds eye view, looking at the world and everything that's going on it. Not leaving a trace of where I was, or where I went. Leaving no answers, and no questions and just letting the assumptions and opinions of people make up the story of my disappearance. I mean, it sounds wierd, but I find it fascinating. I guess, ultimately, the reason why I find it so great is because everyone talks about "getting away". Even for just one day, getting away from the things that take us out of focus. If for a day or a month or a year we could make something out of the new environment we're put in, regardless if we ever come back to where we came from, not alot would have changed, besides, you. - God is Love

Borrow My Mind..."It Comes Back Different"

I always try and write about something different, or atleast not write about the same thing twice in a couple blogs. Every now and then, I have weeks where all I learn, all I experience is one thing. I want to write everyday but it'd sound the same. The cool thing about it is, as repetitive as my writing would sound, however in actual life, the same lesson feels like a different story every single day. I don't know how many times God's put me in situations where he test me in patience, responsibilty, impossibility etc. and every experience never felt like the last one, even if the two happened in the same hour. I think that's what makes life so dope...and blah blah blah Life is blah blah blah I'm tired of people putting Life in a box, life doesn't make stuff up, stuff makes up life. And one of those stuffs is learning, and even when we think we know and we've learned something in life, it doesn't hurt to learn it again, and again, and again, because we need those reminders. Every time it'll be just as hard or just as beautiful, and every time it comes back different. - God is Love