One, Five, Now, Me

I’m thankful to have parents that never really pushed a future on me. I feel blessed to have found my direction, when I was fifteen. Y’know that defining moment in your life where you just, know, what you’re going to do for the rest of your life. Even if it almost seems unlikely and even impossible, you just, know. No matter what was holding you back you could see through those walls and feel it was possible. Because it is. I had that moment 6 years ago, and I knew I wanted to be...

Nurse, Astronaut, Director, Photographer, Film-maker, Artist, Musician, Social Worker, Architect, Writer, Best-Selling Author, Editor, Journalist, Sports Team Owner, Producer, Sponsor, Blogger, Designer, Public Speaker, Skateboarder, Dancer, Broadcaster, Founder, American Muscle Car expert, Model, Actor, Coffee Master, Song-Writer, Collector, Golfer, Stuntman, Poet, Philosipher, Genius, World Expert, A Father, A Grandfather. 

I layed in bed sweating oceans. I don’t even know if it was the humidity or my imaginations that were fuckin’ with me. I had just come home from the 3rd to last day of school. I was bummed, I was barely passing english and I had just handed in my final project 2 weeks late. It was a a massive project of original compositions of your choice. We had to do 4 or 5 of the given choices. I was discussing with my teacher why I wasn;t gong to be able to do English Honours the next year. Anyway, I was home, making body outlines on my bed with sweat thinking about my future and how I thought i didn’t have one because English was the only subject I cared about. I took it for granted. 

I left school pretty late for some reason and my english teacher Mrs.Brkich liked to hang around her classroom reading books and marking papers while walking around in her socks. She caught me walking past her door and called me in and uttered the same thoughts that had kept me awake the last night. 

“You took this class for granted” 

I really didn’t know what to say. Like most of us say these days...”I was pretty fuckin’ choked” 

“This project is amazing” 

The next few minutes I went into some sprite-like euphoria. Y’know when they fall into that imaginary pool that appears on the ground after a sip of sprite? My teacher was back and forth rambling on how she was surprised or something like that and her being upset that i didn’t take the class serious enough. Anyway, I said “Oh, *laughed, thanks”. And if I wasn’t zoned out enough she said to me:

“You could have a future in this” as she held up my project in the air and walked sock-footed into her classroom. 

The summer went by quick and it was already first day into our homerooms and I looked at my class schedule. 

Science 10

Acting 12

English Honours 10

THE REST

OF THIS

SCHEDULE

DOESN’T EVEN

MATTER 10

Hole - E Sh - it. Soon as the bell rung I walked to my locker...23...52...17...stuck my head in it. And cried. While my “homies” didn’t realize what i was doing and talking about Dave Chappelle, stuffing first day info papers on the top shelves. I pulled my head out and it was the first time i felt, accomplished, blessed, the first time i felt, life. I went home that day and wrote and wrote and wrote in my journal about my dreams and goals and ambitions. 

Journal 1/20 : Dreams

Dreams, 6 years later that became 

Journal 15/20 : Foundation. 

I am fifteen. 

- God is Love

The best part of waking up is

Butterflies rest easy
CHRISTINA
LAN!E
AgainByHeart
& write my mind.
Sam. Tony. Alex. Renee. 
Nobuddyreads
PauloAlto
XVI

"When I wake up I immediately turn on my computer. I leave my alarm clock ringing, my bed undone, clothes on the floor. I'm basically blind 'cause I don't even realize I can open my eyes and when I do they only open halfway. I'm doing the "Pee-pee" dance in my boxers waiting for my homescreen to load. It's hella cold and I take a sip of a tea cup from last night, might put on Wu-tang or Hot Chip on the vinyl spinner. I sit down and go down my bookmarks bar and wipe the clouds out my eyes and swipe my bangs to the side and start reading. It feels like one of those after effects where everything around you is moving fast but you're the only shit moving slow as hell. The 808's kick in, then the claps. boom, clap, boom, boom-boom, clap. In the middle of it all, once I get to Ella's blog I'm like swaying back and forth and shit in my seat, boppin' my head and shit. Sometimes I wave my hand and whatnot, haha, and I'm not even on beat, I'm like, listening to The Beatles but I'm swag swayin' in my seat cause for real, these blogs, these words, these people give me rhythm. I get to the last one, Camille's, it's just like a white noise and my heart gets brought down to it's regular heart beat and my mom walks in and's like 'Do you not hear your alarm clock?!', haha." - Donnel Barroso(thats me!) talkin' blogs with artst.


I don't need all that blog hoopla, sneakers and videos and all-uh 'dat. These people are real, these poeple interest me, the only people that interest me are the mad ones. ha, The ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to write, desirous of everything at the same time. The ones that never yawn or say common place things and complain about things and burn and burn and burn and burn like a candle until they're burnt out and have forgotten about everything. Dust a shoulder off and go to the store and buy a new candle. - God is Love


Thank you. 

Sensitive Dudes

get over yourselves. - God Is Love

Eddie Brock

ultra-humanite, dr.death, the monk, joe chill, catwoman, clayface, hugo strange, the joker, lex luthor, doctor sivana, tony zucco, hath-set, captain nazi, the penguin, red skull, scarecrow, turtle, two-face, ibac, puzzler, prankster, rag doll, sabbac, mister mind, brainwave, crime wave, toyman, thinker, cavalier, vandal savage, gambler, my. mxyzptlk, solomon grundy, black adam, monocle, crazy quilt, gentlemen ghost, rose thorn, penny plunderer, scrooge mcduck, star sapphire, the fiddler, riddler, mad hatter, the rival flash, the mekon, daedshot, red hood, killer moth, firefly, gorilla-man, morgan le fay, the yellow claw, floronic man, capatain cold, doctor achiller milo, signalman, bizarro, brainiac, terrible trio, doctor alchemy, calender man, doctor double x, metallo, mirror master, gorilla grodd, pied piper, titano, weather wizard, mr. freeze, amazo, captain boomerang, clock king, despero, grottu, porofessor ivo, molten man-thing, kryptonite man, starro, trickster, xemnu, amos fortune, byth, doctor destiny, hector hammoand, kanjar ro, elektro, fin fang foom, goom, matter master, mole man, shdow theif, the top, general zod, jax-ur, chronos, destroyers, doctor doom, gargoyle, loki, puppet master, sonar, catman, chameleon, doctor octopus, gargantus, hate-monger, heat wave, impossible man, jack frost, the lizard, mad thinker, magneto, mister hyde, molecule man, nightmare, ringmaster, tattooed man, vanisher, plantman, attuma, baron zemo, black hand, the blob, diablo, mandarin, mastermind, mysterio, quicksilver, scarlet witch, toad, ultraman, dragon man, mazimus, sinister six, the scorpion, the stranger, bolivar trask, galactus, living laser, mimix, klaw, ocean master, poison ivy, the rhino, blastaar, black zero, copperhead, grim reaper, the kree, kingpin, viper, doctor spectrum, set, naga, darkseid, desaad, ras al ghul, merlyn, deep six, doctor moon, thanos, the orb, stergron, lashina, moses magnum, moonstone, blackrock, 100, duela dent, rupert thorne, graviton, hulk robot, deathbird, aqueduct, golden eagle, sabretooth, mystique, needle, crossfire, poundcakes, firebug, neutron, deathbolt, brainwave, jason todd, hobgoblin, gargantua, mammoth, iron maiden, shredder, jinx, film freak, apocalypse, headlok, halflife, bloodsport, poral, maxima, deadline, crossbones, mudpack, anarky, deadpool, evil ernie, acolytes, speed queen, omega red, doomsday, general, onslaught, lock-up, holiday, alberto falcone, gearhead, fatality, cobalt blue, grayven, savitar, neron, roxy rocket, massacre, solaris, pharzoof, hangman, harley quinn, mortalla, zoom, scorch, mortician, hush, double down, murmur, able crown, mongal, ord, batzarro, livewire, facade, menace, great white, sarumon, carnage, bison, vega, ....Venom - God is Love


"Add a few drops of venom to half truths, and you have absolute truth.." - Donnel Barroso

"..."

It's starting to feel like a cold ass summer. If, y'know what I mean. - God is Love

Trigger Happy

I’ve walked a marathon in my socks to every corner of my bedroom and swam lengths in my sheets. Traveled down main streets and broad ways, filled my pockets with sand and stained my white jeans green. I don’t know where else to go. 

I’m usually a homebody. A stay-at-home-dad. 

A stay-at-home-dad who fathers thoughts and feelings instead of children. The more I think, the more they grow and it gets to a certain point where it’s just, annoying. Like a 5 year old. But we’re just so curious sometimes. We can ignore the thought, ignore the thought ignore the child ignore the thought ignore the thought but our child, needs answers. Sometimes we’re just not ready to give them the answer or we have to walk around it and tell them that babies are made when a stork drops them down from the sky in a blanket or at the end of a river in a basket. 

I was never into make-believe. 

Not that I was boring. Or wanted to look smart looking through the small section of non-fiction books in my elementary school. I honestly don’t really know why I never read fiction novels. I think as we get older we sort of take our current opinions about ourselves and place them in our childhood. As if  present day affects our past. But really, when we’re kids, we don’t give a fuck about self-identity, and “finding ourselves”. 

We didn’t give a fuck about how we looked, really. 

It’s alot different because media make us act more concious, LIFE makes us more concious and aware of ourselves. We go on this mental journey with ourselves, “finding” who are and defining our lives in experiences. Someone told me that music you listen to from the age of 12-14 are always going to have a special place in your heart of music. Foundation. That’s all it’s saying. Who were you when you didn’t give a fuck about life conciousness? That’s where we should start, and build on that. 

Straight up, 

I feel sometimes I sell my writing short because I use alot of “I guess” and “sometimes” and “maybe”. I try to cover the spectrum of my topic from end to end. It turns out to sound like one really long fortune cookie. I guess it’s just the way I write and that I shouldn’t change it. Sometimes I want to sound offensive and maybe a little bit disrespectul. 

Sometimes, I guess, maybe. 

- God is Love

YTS of the week

I'm not a Gabe Bondoc guy. But I guess it doesn't really matter who sings the song, sometimes it's just when the words clench your heart for that 3 and a half minutes and lets it go before you're about to die. And when the blood circulates back through your body you replay that song and risk your life again for that feeling. Whatever it is. - God is Love

Some ?hit I heard

I heard that the music that you listen from the ages of 12-14 lay down the foundation in your taste in music. Even if you stray off into another genre, you're always going to have a special spot in your iPod and in your heart, for whatever music it was you listened to. So, my two favorite songs that define me?...ha. - God is love

Oh, I almost forgot. ha. 

(in)Case of the Ex: Last Page

Rainy days spent laying in my bed reminds me of you, and like my pictures things were simple as black & white. Mornings when I wake up with a fully charged cellphone tells me we're not talking, and when we do, it feels as if we have to draw eachother into the conversation so we could talk a half second longer because we both think that neither of us want to be there. But that's exactly where I want to be, in those half seconds of time where I'm looking left and you're looking down and you could feel me looking at you from your, peripherals. We talk nothing of the past and the times when we did this and I did that. "Remember that time we..."
The table for two, turns into a bar stool for 1. I'll eat my words and regurgetate them onto my blanket and sink myself back in them when the scent of you flushes through my nose and whips past my eyes causing them to roll back into a bliss of a dream. A dream it'd stay. Because it was already real. And now they're just memories that make me insecure when I'm around you. I'm now fearful to hurt your feelings, more fearful to be honest because my honesty makes you defensive and all of a sudden I realize that I don't know you, anymore. Because like you, with me, we live in our memories. And what I knew of you isn't you, and my assumptions that derive from the thought of what I know of you turn into insults. And it's an insult that I don't know you. It's an insult that you don't know me. All of a sudden we have to "try". We only hold on when we want to, and the rest of the time we don't give a F___. 
We're both left with no explanations. Just a tear-filled sleeve of my sweater and my silence and your inexplainable manner to take yourself out of those half seconds because you're afraid. Afraid of me. It's a bit sad y'know? But, whatever, right?
So she walks right out of the house just like she always does and I'll say nothing at all the whole ride back to her place. I'll say "Thanks, and say hi to parents for me" and she'll say "thank you, pass my thanks to tito and tita". So she walks right out like she always does. I'll sit back home, look at my phone, turn it off 'cause there ain't nobody calling tonight.
When I wake up, I'll put on my suit, tie, glasses, slick my hair and head to work. All Clark Kent and shit, y'know. I'll come straight home like I always do. Loosen up my tie, place my glasses on the dresser and lay in bed thinking of how I'm suppose to take over the world.
Cause I'm always going to be the bad guy, Cause I can't be her Superman. - God is Love  


Post, inspired by:
"Like I said, 75% of the time, I love being single. But I'm only human, and I have my moments. This is one of them." 
"Because my good guy at one point in his life, was her bad boy. Because when my boys are telling me, "Fuck him, he couldn't handle you, you deserve better," and all that woompty-woomp that may be true but I really ain't tryna hear - they are also talking about themselves. Because everybody makes mistakes. Because even our "boys" are assholes ... just not towards us." - This killuh of a blog...CLICK. 

Family Matters

"Kuya, I know I always ask you this and you always say, no. But can you find me a decent looking guy who's tall an-"
"NO." 

"That's because you like those weird looking girls. Not ugly, but weird."

"Keep rockin', keep knockin, whether you're.."(I screw up on the guitar)
"I don't want to keep rockin' if it's going to SUCK!"(my sister says during our cover of "knock you down")

(My mom finishes singing Leann Rimes on magic mic)..*Dad applauds..."MORE, MORE, MORE!!!"
*Mom looks at my dad and smiles...
Dad says.."MORE PRACTISE!"

I'd give up thousand dollar photoshoots, just to spend it with Fobulous parents and a not so distant sister. - God is Love